Parental Alienation – “My Child Does Not Want To See Me”

Parental Alienation has become a hot topic in recent years and continues to challenge the Family Courts and those who work within them. The issue is becoming increasingly common between separated parents in disputes about their children’s contact and living arrangements.

What is parental alienation?

There is no single definition of parental alienation. However, it may be summarised as “the negative words and behaviours of one parent influencing a child’s behaviours and attitude towards the other parent, causing an unjustified breakdown in their relationship”.

Parental alienation may be identified by reference to a variety of behaviours such as:

Some argue that this is manipulation by the resident parent in order to exert control over the relationship between the child and the absent parent.

What should you do if your child is being turned against you?

The most important thing to do is to stay calm and try to maintain contact if possible. A child’s needs should always be top priority over a parent’s and parents should resist the temptation to argue with their ex-partner.

Mediation should be attempted as a way of discussing a parent’s concerns with their ex-partner in a safe environment. If mediation fails or isn’t suitable then legal representation should be obtained and, if there is no other option, then an application to the Court for a Child Arrangements Order will need to be made.

Following the application, a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment will be listed. Initial independent advice and recommendations made by CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) will be given to the Court at the first hearing in a letter which will also address any safeguarding concerns.

The Judge will narrow down the issues on a case-by-case basis and decide what, if any, further evidence is required to help make a final decision. It is not always possible to conclude the case at the first hearing. Further hearings will be scheduled so that any evidence can be gathered and presented to the Court.

Whenever there is an allegation of abuse like parental alienation the Court is almost certain to adjourn the case so that further enquiries can be made.

If the parties are still unable to reach an agreement then a final hearing will be listed so that the Judge can decide what the arrangements for the child should be, based on the facts before them.

Factors such as parental alienation and domestic abuse may influence the Court’s final decision and it is important to set your concerns out in full.

What evidence may the Court seek to obtain?

The Court can make orders for experts to undertake psychological assessments of both parents if there are allegations of parental alienation within the proceedings. The experts’ findings will be disclosed in their report and may assist the Court by providing a plan for targeted therapy.

CAFCASS may also be able asked to identify cases where parental alienation is present and their input may be required in a report under section 7 of the Children Act 1989.

If parental alienation is established this will be a factor to be considered by the Court when deciding what would be in the best interests of the children.

In extreme cases, the Court can be invited to change a child’s residence from the alienating parent to the alienated parent. This was the case in Re A (Children) (Parental alienation) [2019] EWFC.

In this case, despite the advice of professionals and experts involved in the case during a lengthy eight-year Court battle, the change of residency to the alienated father had a catastrophic impact on the children who showed strong resistance to the change of residence. This resulted in the children returning to the Mother with no contact with the Father.

This case highlighted the negative long-term effects parental alienation can have on children and how it can permanently damage a relationship between a parent and a child if intervention does not take place quickly.